Tuesday, February 23, 2010

EFT Script: Being More Present

(This EFT script was first published in Metta Center newsletter, March 2009.)

Our power is in the present, in the Now moment. However, so many of us have learned and trained ourselves to live in the past or in the future and ignored the beauty that is present in the moment. When we feel stressed, overwhelmed, or fearful over something or someone, it is an indicator that we have temporarily lost sight of the Now.

Of course, you can always bring yourself back to your powerful and precious Now by doing simple breathing meditation or simply focusing on something pleasant in the Now. But for many of us who have been entrenched in this habit of dwelling in the past or worrying about the future, it can be quite challenging to practice living fully in the present.

So, here's the EFT script that can help you become more present in your Now. Shorten the sentences or change the wordings to fit you better. Use this script as often as you like. I have included two more additional tapping points: the inside and outside of the wrist. Tap on whichever wrist you prefer.

If you want to let me know about the shifts that you experience in your energy system, or in your life, as a result of using this EFT script, I would love to hear it!

If you are not familiar with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), you can find a brief introduction to this powerful self-healing technique in my "EFT Tapping Points" webpage. For a complete, standardized EFT training and further information, please visit: http://www.emofree.com.

Tap on the Karate Chop point or rub on the Sore Spot as you say the following setup statements:

"Even though I don't know what it means to be fully present in my Now, and I judge myself for that, I deeply and completely accept who I am. I choose to appreciate all of me and where I am right now."

"Even though I am not able to be more present in my life, I forgive myself, I forgive any resistance to being present, and I forgive everyone involved. I know I deserve to freely and joyously embrace my Presence. I am willing to consider that it can be safe, and even satisfying, for me to be present. I choose to enthusiastically and joyously embrace my Presence now!"

"Even though maybe a part of me feels deeply threatened about being more present in the now, I deeply and completely love myself and accept all of my feelings. I give all of me the permission to be open to the idea that being present is a safe, delightful and wonderful experience."

Tap on the indicated EFT points and say the reminder phrases, as suggested below, either aloud or in your mind. You can change the reminder phrases to whatever words that fit you better.

Beginning of Eyebrow: "I don't know how to be more present in my now."
Side of Eye: "Maybe a part of me doesn't like to be present for whatever reasons."
Under Eye: "I judge myself for not being present."
Under Nose: "I have a powerful resistance to being more present."
Chin: "I don't want to be more present. Why should I?"
Collarbone: "The truth is, I don't know what it means to be present. I am afraid of what I don't know."
Under Arm: "A deep part of me is not certain that it is safe for me to change, and this part is running the show."
Inside of Wrist: "This part is telling me that I really don't need to be more present."
Top of Wrist: "I wonder if it is time to release this fear?"
Top of Head: "What if being more present is safe and is for the highest good for me? Would all of me be willing to trust this possibility and relax into this exciting potential?"

Beginning of Eyebrow: "I am open to healing this fear of being more present. I am open to knowing what it means and how it feels to be fully present in the Now."
Side of Eye: "I am open to considering that it is safe for me to release the resistance to being more present."
Under Eye: "I choose to accept where I am and who I am being now."
Under Nose: "I am willing to feel safe in my present moment. I have decided to embrace my Presence."
Chin: "A deep part of me might still feel afraid of being more present, I wonder what it needs to feel comforted and calm."
Collarbone: "I choose to listen to my inner guidance as to what would be comforting and calming for me as I welcome the experience of being more present in my Now"
Under Arm: "I am willing to consider that surrendering to my Presence is a safe and satisfying experience for me."
Inside of Wrist: "I no longer need to sabotage my desire to becoming more present in the Now."
Top of Wrist: "I invite and direct my whole being to heal this fear and to release this old pattern of sabotaging my being more present. I choose to relax and be at peace. I choose to trust my Presence and have fun at being more present."
Top of Head: "I love knowing that I am learning to be more present in my Now. I m proud of myself for being willing to learn, grow and change. I feel strong, safe and free. This feels good."

This EFT script is provided by Christine Metawati as a good faith effort to expand the use of EFT in the world. It represents her ideas and do not necessarily represent those of Gary Craig or EFT. Complete understanding of EFT and the EFT training videos are available at http://www.emofree.com.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Love and Grace

Our relationships can help us grow personally and spiritually. They invite us to rise to the challenge to be our true Selves. They invite us to allow ourselves to align with the unconditional Love we are inside, the love we want to give and receive.

The most important of all the relationships we have is our relationship with our deep inner Self - the Love we hold within us and the Life that is us.

Gently, just observe how often you accept and love yourself on a daily basis. How much do you trust your own goodness and gifts? How do you treat yourself? How do you perceive yourself? How do you soothe, comfort, care and support yourself? Do you bother to give your Self the time of day? Are you caging the Love you hold within, keeping it from radiating out and thus depriving yourself of your own fulfillment?

You can't afford to deny the importance of You, the importance of being the Love that you are. It hurts deeply when others invalidate the love you have to offer and it hurts even more when you resist your own Self from expressing fully.

How can our relationships help us to be the full expressions of ourselves? The conflicts that arise within these relationships challenge us to see what limiting stories we have insisted on keeping. It is often unpleasant to have these conflicts, yet their purpose is holy: to help us free our Self! Through these conflicts, we are given plenty of opportunities to re-author our old stories. You know when you have successfully rewritten your stories when you see your relationships change, improve and flourish. Truly, your relationships can be the path to your own liberation. So bless all your relationships, difficult ones or not, for they give you plenty of opportunities to consciously realign with your Inner Self and express the abundant Love that you are!

I recently received an inspiring email from a dear client of mine which illustrates how her work to be true to her Self helped her come to a wondrous space in her life: "I have been meaning to share an amazing experience with you for weeks now. You have been helping me throughout the Fall to release the resentment I felt towards my husband. Well, one moment about three weeks ago - I think this is what people call Grace - it went away. It just was all gone. I felt free and different. It never comes back. It's not like I forgot everything. It was that nothing had charge anymore!! I was only filled with love towards him. It still makes me want to weep because it was so beautiful."

I love what she added: "If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody. Hope we all continue to believe in miracles and live a magical life."

I invite you to tend and nurture your most sacred relationship, the one with your Inner Self. And create the Grace-filled life that is possible for you!

Nature Boy

As we are thinking of love this month, or any other month, here's a song that might stir the beautiful Love deep in your core.

This song was originally sang by Nat King Cole (album: "The Greatest of Nat King Cole" LP Capitol). Words and music by Eden Ahbez. This song was #1 Billboard for 8 weeks in 1948.

Click here to listen to Nat:

Click here to hear this song ala Pomplamoose (a really cool two-person Bay Area indie-band that I just recently discovered!)


There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy
And sad of eye
But very wise
Was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things, fools and kings
This he said to me
"The greatest thing
You'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return"

Stepping into the Light

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: it is only with the heart that one can see clearly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Jerry" (not his real name) asked me to help him move past his painful feelings of loneliness and his need to be connected through touch. He found that his feelings and needs were getting in the way of his relationships.

He quietly suggested that perhaps instead of simply getting "rid" of things that didn't work, maybe it would be helpful to give himself a "replacement" item that he would like to experience in his life. I encouraged him to follow his inspiration and asked him what that replacement item would be. He thought for a moment and then very softly said, "I choose to trust that I will be loved again."

As soon as he made that choice, his energy body sighed with relief and he burst into tears. He sat for a while as his body rocked with sobs, releasing the old energies and absorbing the new and beautiful energy he had just claimed for himself.

What moments of grace! He was hearing and answering the call of his own Soul. When he chose to permit himself to trust that he would be loved again, he opened the portal to allow himself to love again. He was courageously choosing to connect with his own Source -- his eternal Self.

As he relaxed into the new energy he has chosen to live in, he gifted more healing to himself. At one point, a huge shift of energy practically flew out of his body. I asked him what he was doing at the time; he said, "I just decided to surrender and be here."

He was beaming with light at the end of our session, graceful and sublime like a rose. I was crying as I witness such a beautiful unfolding of light suffusing his body, connecting heaven and earth. I was in the presence of Love itself. It was completely awe-inspiring! And still he had more wise words to share: "To experience one's Self through the thoughts, the touch, the light of another is the essence of not being alone."

Being in the presence someone who is one with his Source is truly a joy untold.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Self-Love = Egotistical?

My daughter asked me a thoughtful question: "Mom, is it OK for us to feel a 10 about ourselves?"
Some background: many of you who work with me using EFT know that I use the scale of 0 to 10 to measure the intensity level on feelings as well as the "truth" of belief-statements. So, my daughter was simply indicating a scale, in this case "10", in how good she was feeling about herself.

This question struck me as very poignant for several reasons: (1) there was a possibilty that it is not "OK" to feel good about ourselves, (2) that despite the belief I share openly with my family that we all deserve to feel good about ourselves, she is clear that, outside our home, this belief is not shared with her circle of friends in school, which led me to point (3): while my daughter attends a school that believes in developing children's self-esteem by honoring who they are, the influence of the message "it is not ok to feel so good about yourself" is still very strong.

I chose to answer her question with another question: "Why wouldn't it be?" She answered, "Some of my friends think that it is selfish if I feel great about who I am, or if I think I am a '10'. I wonder if I am being egotistical?" Sensing that she needed an assurance, I shared my viewpoint that "If you see yourself as a '10', and you see others as a '10' even if you don't like their behavior, then I think you can safely say that you are not egotistical. If you think you are a '10' and all others are '1' or '2' and you have the right to walk all over them, then you might get into egotistical territory." I didn't know if I was correct or not on this, but this is how I view the situation. My daughter seemed hugely comforted.

Then, she asked again, "What if your friend who feel like a '5' gets mad at you because you are feeling like a '10'?" I shared with her what I learned from one of my teachers: "Another person's refusal to honor and love themselves is none of my business." So, together, we decided that she didn't need to bend down to match the level '5' if that's not how she was feeling. No one ever needs to. She is always allowed to feel as good about herself as she wants to feel, and she can allow others to feel how they want to feel about themselves. It is not her responsibility to make others feel good about themselves, especially at the expense of her self-love.

Her eyes beamed with peace as she embraced that liberating decision. As a mother, I felt a sense of relief and compassion flowing through me. I remembered struggling with the same question until my mid-30's. I felt grateful that she had a chance to have what I hope to be a different and more life-affirming perspective on self-love.

My definition of self-love involves respecting, accepting and appreciating myself. It also involves giving myself the validation and recognition I deserve, and being honest with myself about my feelings, needs, desires, limitations and strengths. It involves being patient as I grow in my awareness and learn how to love in life, allowing my gifts and talents to shine and benefit the world I have chosen to be my home. I believe that, as part of self-love, it is also important that we develop the ability to set boundaries in a respectful, and truthful way to others and ourselves.

I love this affirmation from Louise Hay: "I come from the loving space of my heart, and know that love opens all doors. I have come to this planet to learn to love myself more, and to share those love with all those around me."

It is more than OK for each of us to love ourselves and feel great about who we are, I think it's divine!

Metta Meditation

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha

The practice of metta, or loving kindness, cultivates unconditional friendliness toward the self and others. It raises the vibration of the person practicing it as well as the people receiving the energy of loving kindness itself.

In this simplified version of the traditional form of metta meditation, send metta to yourself by inwardly repeating the following verses: "May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I be at ease. May I live in peace." Repeat the phrases several times, noticing and accepting any feeling that arise from deep within your heart chakra.

Then, bring others to your mind and silently direct those wishes to them, replacing the "I" with "you". If you like, as you go about with your day, direct these thoughts and metta to everyone you meet.