Recently, I came across this limiting belief that is fascinating to me. It's about being exposed. But not about hiding some inside flaw from being found out by others. It is about keeping the information that we are loved from being exposed even to ourselves.
The belief I came across was along the line of "if we even try to remember we are loved, we are not safe." It blew my mind when I finally understood the full grasp of this thought pattern! Ever felt like a fake? Well, duh, it made sense to me how we could feel that way especially when we don't allow ourselves to remember, let alone, know and embody our own deepest truths.
Incidentally, I was realizing that remembering something is a kind of like exposing what was once hidden in our mind, isn't it? What was buried, hidden or lost in the deep folds of our psyche is now in clear view again.
So, how does this belief manifest as a limitation in our lives?
It can show up as:
- Feeling unsafe and vulnerable about claiming the right to be who we really are.
- Feeling vigilant and guarded about life, not fully trusting the flow of the universe and ourselves.
- Holding ourselves back in important areas of our lives.
- Limiting how much we allow ourselves to experience our heart's desires (whether it is abundance, health, relationships, inner peace or satisfying work).
- Sabotaging ourselves, despite our best intentions.
Why not just release this belief and transform it to something that serves us better? A-ha! This is where it gets interesting. I was fascinated to hear so much resistance and rebuttals about why one might need to keep this limiting belief even if it is deeply and widely limiting in one's life. I heard the resistant thoughts within myself as well as others to whom I posed the question, "What keeps you from remembering that you are loved?"
- I will be a spoiled brat if I remember that I am loved no matter what. (I have to admit, this was what I thought.)
- We will stop innovating, growing and expanding and eventually fall, like the Ottoman empire. (This is a good one, isn't it?)
- I would be so cocky in my speech that I wouldn't stop to think that my words might be hurtful until it's too late.
- Other people will be jealous of me and exclude me.
- I am not comfortable walking around feeling and knowing that I am loved when so many others don't feel that way. I don't want to be that different or special!
- I will have to fight others, because they want to convince me that I am not lovable, and I really hate conflict.
- I don't want to remember I am loved, because when I do then I will also remember that love ends.
- If I believed I am loved and that is not my experience, I will feel hopeless. I don't ever want to feel hopeless. (Alternately, you might have the desire to avoid feeling embarrassed. Think about what emotions you prefer not to feel.)
I am sure these are not the only resistant thoughts to this very interesting pattern!
You might uncover your own resistance to remembering that you are indeed loved. Anything come to mind yet? You might have just one, or you might have a list of resistant thoughts. Or you might remember times when love got you in hot water. For example, you might remember when you were treated poorly by those who were jealous of you having the love that they wanted; or the reverse, you treated others poorly because you took the love you had for granted.
If you would like to let go of this story that you are not loved and would like to begin resonating with the belief that you are loved, you can use EFT or TAT to neutralize the resistant thoughts or memories. Honor the old story for how it has served you, and appreciate yourself for being willing to be loved in grace.
It is such a revolutionary and liberating act to expose our own deep truths to ourselves and the world. Can you consider the upside of remembering that you are loved? How would you feel? Who would you be? What would be different in your life? What would you now allow yourself to be, to have and to do that you couldn't before?
Go for it. Expose to yourself that you are loved!
Here’s an EFT script you can use on this topic.
Tap on the Karate Chop point or rub on the Sore Spot as you say the following EFT Setup Statements (please feel free to substitute the words to something that fit you better):
“Even though I am afraid to remember that I am actually loved, it has a lot of repercussions I am not completely happy with, I accept myself and my feelings deeply and completely.”
“Even though it is best if I don’t remember that I am loved, it is also possible that a part of me is inviting me to change my perspective. I wonder if it can be safe and even helpful for me now to remember that I am loved.”
“Even though I am afraid to consider that I am loved, especially after all that happened, I deeply and completely accept who I am without judgment.”
Tap on the indicated EFT points and say the reminder phrases, as suggested below, either aloud or in your mind. You can change the reminder phrases to whatever words that fit you better.
EB: “I am afraid to remember that I am loved.”
SE: “It is not safe to remember that!”
UE: “Best if I forget this whole idea that I am loved. It will only get my hopes up to be dashed down again.”
UN: “It’s better for me and everyone else if we just don’t think about it anymore.”
CH: “What do I get for remembering that I am loved anyway, other than heartaches and unpleasant surprises?”
CB: “I would rather not remember that I am loved. It’s not true for me anyway.”
UA: “Yup, I am not loved. That’s my story and I am sticking to it!”
Gamut point: “I don’t want to remember that I am loved.”
Top of the head: “There is no use in even considering that I am loved!”
EB: “Wow, I didn’t know I have strong resistance about believing that I am loved!”
SE: “I must really not enjoy the experiences I had when I thought I was loved.”
UE: “I am sorry that they happened to me.”
UN: “It was sad (or scary, or upsetting, or…)”
CH: “No one knows how hard that was for me. No one knows how that has affected me and my entire life!”
CB: “But it is all in the past now. That is over now.”
UA: “I want to send healing love to my heart, and all other places that still hurt inside.”
Gamut Point: “I choose to send love and healing to all of me right now.”
Top of the Head: “Sending love to all parts of me that hurt. I love you!” (Tap for as long as you need.)
EB: “I love you, (insert your name here)!”
SE: “Yes, I love you!”
UE: “I thank you!”
UN: “Thank you for being here to remind me that I can love myself and that I can send love to all parts of me that hurt and bring healing to them.”
CH: “I am sorry it took me so long to remember that my love is good enough to heal what hurts.”
CB: “I love myself, and my love is good enough for me! I have been looking for love in the wrong places!”
UA: “I am willing to find proof that I am loved instead of just looking for proof that I am not.”
Gamut point: “The Universe has infinite ways to let me know that I am loved and that’s what I want to experience from now on.”
Top of the Head: “It might be fun to look for all the beautiful ways the Universe invites me to notice that I am loved fully, deeply and profoundly! I am looking forward to remembering that I am so loved! And this time, maybe I can even handle this knowledge gracefully!”
Take a deep breath!
This EFT script is provided by Christine Metawati as a good faith effort to expand the use of EFT in the world. It represents her ideas and do not necessarily represent those of Gary Craig or EFT. EFT has yielded remarkable results for many people, but they may not yield the same benefits for everyone. They are definitely NOT meant to replace appropriate medical treatment or mental health therapy. No guarantee of results is either stated or implied. If you use the EFT script provided above, you are advised to take complete responsibility for your emotional and physical well-being. Please consult qualified health practitioners regarding your use of EFT, TAT or any other healing modalities.