Wednesday, June 20, 2012
I was outside enjoying myself, reading a book that has captivated my heart and soul. The weather was beautiful, the garden was fragrant, my family was with me playing outside. All is well. I felt peaceful and complete.
Despite that slice-of-heaven moment, however, I noticed some quiet stirrings of unease and restlessness in my chest. I stopped my reading, and check inward with myself. I brought my attention to the sensations I felt on my chest, and gently waited for an inner response.
"I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I have no purpose," came the answer from within me. I was aware of a feeling of confusion that accompanied the restless energy. This answer came as a surprise to me because I was very clear about what my purpose was on that day. My purpose was to be in love with life, and I was doing it so well, I thought.
Because of my self-healing practice in working with inner-child and other aspects of self, I understood that the answer and the feelings came from another aspect of my being that was not in harmony yet with the greater me.
I asked this part, "How do you know you have no purpose?" And, I heard back, "I am used to doing things, I am used to having a purpose to fulfill. Now, I am just sitting and reading and in love with life. While this is fine and dandy to experience, it is all very disorienting to me."
I chuckled gently, hearing this answer. I held this part of me with kindness and lovingly shared my new understanding of what life-purpose meant to me now.
This part showed me our concept of purpose as a mission, a grand project, something one actively engaged in to be completed. It is in the completing of tasks that the mission is accomplished. I thanked this part for showing me this old concept I still held at some level of my being.
I explained to this part of me, as I used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to tap along my meridian points, that I now had a more expanded view and understanding of my purpose. To me, my purpose now is to serve Life. Every morning, I check in with the Source within me, "How can I serve Your purpose today, Life?" And, that day, the answer was "Be in Love." In the past days, the answers had been, "Be Love," or "Be Joy," or "Appreciate," or "Bless Everything" or something like that and the answers were always given with the most exquisite feelings of blissful love.
In the confusions that this lost part of me felt as I relayed my expanded understanding of purpose, I also heard another voice from within that said, "I may feel lost, because I am no longer orienting my life in the ways I am used to. But, wait, I am not lost... I am found!"
I felt a great delight, like a coming home, exploding from within me. A deep powerful knowing arose from within me and said, "I am found! I am back in peace. I am home. And, I am my purpose! The purpose of my life is Me!" And, like a child in candy store, the great delight exploded out of me. My eyes must have twinkled then.
I knew then, without a doubt, that the new realization is true. My understanding of my purpose has just been expanded again: my purpose is Me -- Divinity in the flesh! My purpose is to be the me as carried by the deeper blueprint within. My purpose is not a job, it is a realization.
And, I feel lost no more.
To those of you whom might be feeling lost and lonely, not knowing who you are or why you are here on Earth, perhaps I can pass on this wisdom: maybe the answer to your wondering about and wandering about is You!
May you marvel in the discovery of who you are and who you are becoming! You are worth looking for.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
(This post was first published as an article in September 2008 Metta Center email newsletter. While my daughter is now 15 years old, and not 11 years old as in this story, the message of this post is still relevant today. I invite you to turn your limiting thoughts around and free yourself into your happiness!)
One of the lessons I have learned is that happiness is an inside job.
Do you notice that things can be going really well, and yet you are still unhappy? Or, things might go all awry yet you are cool as a cucumber?
Something Abraham-Hicks says really struck a cord with me: "Your primary work is to think, speak and do what feels good to you." I really enjoy learning the process of choosing a better feeling thought from Abraham. Similar to changing a diet where you choose a healthier food to nourish your body, learning to think a better feeling thought is choosing to hold healthier thoughts, bringing yourself back into alignment with Source. It is choosing to nourish your mind, emotion and body with thoughts that affirms your connection to the amazing life, the Spirit, within you instead of diminishing it.
I put it in my daily practice that whenever I notice I am feeling unhappy, for whatever reason, I invite myself to explore what feels better for me to think, say or do. It is a simple process, and with practice, I can notice how much easier and quicker it is for me to align myself with feelings of contentment and joy.
For instance, I had this uncomfortable event a couple days ago where I talked to my 11-year old daughter about something that I thought would be of great help to her. But,she was not ready to hear it and brushed me off in a typical adolescence way. ("I am not listening!") Noticing that I felt frustrated, I made a mental note to find out what I would prefer to think, say or do that could feel better to me. After some time of reflection, I realized that I wanted to contribute to her life, and apparently my unconscious belief about how I should relate to my daughter was, "I need to teach and help my daughter in order to be of value to her." That thought didn't feel good at all, and I contemplated that this not-so-good feeling is an indicator that the thought was out of alignment with my Source. My Inner Being is telling me that there is a better way to think about relating to my daughter.
So, I decided to choose a better feeling thoughts: "It's not true that I need to teach and help her to be of value to her. I really appreciate my powerful desire to contribute to her life and, I think I can be of value to her in many other ways that work better for both of us, and now that I am thinking about this, I rather like how it feels to me to remember that I am of value already no matter what." I felt immediate relief and a shift in my energy. My body sighed and I felt significantly more peaceful and free within.
As I focused on choosing more good-feeling thoughts, a single thought, attracted to me by nature of the Law of Attraction, powerfully took me to an even greater level of joy and relief: "I don't have to figure everything out and neither does she!" First, there was a hushed silence within, and then I felt waves of glorious and joyous freedom from within my whole being with that single liberating thought. I felt like whooping and jumping up and down, and I did!
I love the process because it concretely shows me that I absolutely have complete and total freedom to think whatever I want, to either uplift or depress myself and my life. I get to discover what thoughts and life-choices feel good to me. More importantly, I get to be in touch again with my own innate wisdom and to reconnect with what feels so good deep in my soul.
It is such a delicious feeling to feel happy for no reasons other than it feels so great to be alive!