Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Lost Child Within

(This post was first published as an article in April 2008 Metta Center email newsletter.)

I was outside enjoying myself, reading a book that has captivated my heart and soul. The weather was beautiful, the garden was fragrant, my family was with me playing outside. All is well. I felt peaceful and complete.

Despite that slice-of-heaven moment, however, I noticed some quiet stirrings of unease and restlessness in my chest. I stopped my reading, and check inward with myself. I brought my attention to the sensations I felt on my chest, and gently waited for an inner response.

"I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I have no purpose," came the answer from within me. I was aware of a feeling of confusion that accompanied the restless energy. This answer came as a surprise to me because I was very clear about what my purpose was on that day. My purpose was to be in love with life, and I was doing it so well, I thought.

Because of my self-healing practice in working with inner-child and other aspects of self, I understood that the answer and the feelings came from another aspect of my being that was not in harmony yet with the greater me.

I asked this part, "How do you know you have no purpose?" And, I heard back, "I am used to doing things, I am used to having a purpose to fulfill. Now, I am just sitting and reading and in love with life. While this is fine and dandy to experience, it is all very disorienting to me."

I chuckled gently, hearing this answer. I held this part of me with kindness and lovingly shared my new understanding of what life-purpose meant to me now.

This part showed me our concept of purpose as a mission, a grand project, something one actively engaged in to be completed. It is in the completing of tasks that the mission is accomplished. I thanked this part for showing me this old concept I still held at some level of my being.

I explained to this part of me, as I used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to tap along my meridian points, that I now had a more expanded view and understanding of my purpose. To me, my purpose now is to serve Life. Every morning, I check in with the Source within me, "How can I serve Your purpose today, Life?" And, that day, the answer was "Be in Love." In the past days, the answers had been, "Be Love," or "Be Joy," or "Appreciate,"  or "Bless Everything" or something like that and the answers were always given with the most exquisite feelings of blissful love.

In the confusions that this lost part of me felt as I relayed my expanded understanding of purpose, I also heard another voice from within that said, "I may feel lost, because I am no longer orienting my life in the ways I am used to. But, wait, I am not lost... I am found!"

I felt a great delight, like a coming home, exploding from within me. A deep powerful knowing arose from within me and said, "I am found! I am back in peace. I am home. And, I am my purpose! The purpose of my life is Me!" And, like a child in candy store, the great delight exploded out of me. My eyes must have twinkled then.

I knew then, without a doubt, that the new realization is true. My understanding of my purpose has just been expanded again: my purpose is Me -- Divinity in the flesh!  My purpose is to be the me as carried by the deeper blueprint within. My purpose is not a job, it is a realization.

And, I feel lost no more.

To those of you whom might be feeling lost and lonely, not knowing who you are or why you are here on Earth, perhaps I can pass on this wisdom: maybe the answer to your wondering about and wandering about is You!

May you marvel in the discovery of who you are and who you are becoming! You are worth looking for.

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